Adolescent Daughter Is Becoming a Problem!

"My daughter who will be 13 in a few weeks time has become a child from hell!! I know its all hormones and her age, but over the past year she has become boy mad! She has a boyfriend t he min and sees him once a week, but she continually flirts with other boys. At the beginning of this year we caught her talking to a boy she knew on web cam in a provocative position! needless to say she was immediately put on a computer ban and had her mobile fone taken off her. Last week, because her behaviour had improved we let her ban go but she was only allowed to use the computer in our presence and only we know the password and constantly check her social networking sites. But yesterday

i was looking at her messages and she is heavily flirting with boys she hardly knows!! I have tried to explain all the horrors out there and that boys will only want to know her coz she is ‘easy’, but all she says is that its just messing around or that one of her friends had put things. Other than keep her at home 24/7 what else can i do to stop her becoming a tart!! I really dont know where she has got this behaviour from as she has been brought up with morals and values, im just so scared something awful is going to happen." 

Gosh, your daughter’s not even a teenager yet! It sounds as though she’s on the verge of "not listening" as a habit. She wants to do her own thing and she’s been influenced in the past by TV programs where it’s funny to flirt. Some television sitcoms show the teenagers talking back to their parents and teens love to see that, can relate to it, and will simulate it.

You need a discipline program where your daughter can make her own choices and suffer her own consequences. But you need a program you can regulate and enforce so her behavior doesn’t get out of control.

The computer and phone calls (and texting!) is a modern method of communication that all kids think they need in order to be popular. But popularity is not necessarily what’s best for the child.

You need to think long term; and the consequences that can change her life if your don’t lay down the rules NOW and enforce them in order to prevent future rebellious behavior.

Grounding does not work! My children were grounded by my ex-husband over and over and over. They knew they could sneak out of the house while he was gone and be back before he came home from work (divorced). He was at his wit’s end. Remember, doing the same thing over and over and expecting difference results is insanity (Einstein?)

Talking does not work. Children have a habit of ‘tuning you out", rolling their eyes, and will argue their point of view.

Change the discipline program. [The Child Behavior Repair Kit for Parents]