What do you do when you have poison ivy and the kids are bored?

Arthur Miller once said, "You cannot catch a child’s spirit by running after it. You must stand still, and for love it will soon itself return."

How true this is! Imagine suffering from poison ivy all over your body. The itching becomes so unbearable at first that the only relief you get is to become absolutely motionless, lying still and letting the itch subside. (I actually do this with mosquito bites, too!)

This ‘quiet time’, while the poison ivy is inactive, is a perfect time to invite your kids to come camp on your bed with you for story telling or some deep, thought provoking conversation. I call it an ‘advantage time’ because otherwise I would be bustling around taking care of Mommy chores, folding laundry or emerging myself into some household busyness – completely missing the whole wonderful bonding activity.

Mothers are busy people which much to do. I remember well the statement, "A man works from sun to sun; A woman’s work is never done." I don’t know who said it, but it holds true for every household.

The wonderful thing about having poison ivy or any slight illness that confines us to bed is that we come to realize it’s not the end of the world if the dishes are left in the sink, or the phone calls are left unreturned for a few days.

Friends will not abandon us if we need some time off. The sun continues to rise and set, so there’s always tomorrow!

It is during this time, also, that kids will become creative.

I remember a time when my 12-year-old boy was learning to cook. I had given him some freedom in the kitchen so he decided to fix dinner on his own. He was in there for what seemed hours, creating something ‘special’.

Dinnertime came and the rest of the family gathered around the table. We were served stuffed eggplant! I have to say, it was delicious, but the dinner had no accompaniments so my hungry husband had to find something else to go with our son’s masterpiece. The boy stated, "I didn’t think of anything else."

We laughed about it. That son is, today, a great cook!! He was allowed to experiment in a safe environment with a grown-up activity he enjoyed.

Kids need to be left alone to experience their own competence. In our down-time, they come out of their cocoons and blossom. More often than not, kids discover talents and productivity. Contributing to the family matters and it’s a very positive feeling.

So sure, it’s not fun to have your body covered with poison ivy, but in the realization that your kids will be just fine while you recuperate is a great benefit of motherhood.

Once children conclude they have worth around the house, they’ll often take up opportunities to help, where before, they would just scatter to avoid a chore or play, unthinkingly.

Children love challenges. They can be challenged with a board game or with a fix-it problem. Chores around the house can require concentration, a mind builder! And, don’t we want our kids to flourish in the mind and concentration areas?

As parents, we need to stay out of their way and let them figure things out on their own. Leave them alone. Don’t hover over them, telling them what to do or whether they’re doing it right or wrong. Just let them learn.

Loving our children is to let them grow and change. Watching and guiding from a few steps back gives them a feeling of independence, yet knowing a safety net is nearby.

Parenthood is nurturing when they need it. It’s also about giving them opportunities to discover themselves and discover their abilities to be able to take care of themselves.

A doting parent to an adult child is NOT something we want to become.

Giving our children space is a time to discover ourselves, as well. Uninterrupted time to read, write, think, and meditate – will keep us, as parents, healthier and stress free.

Mother birds, at some point, have to kick the baby out of the nest. It’s tough, but necessary, if we want them to have a life of their own. So take some time and ruffle your feathers as you give your children their own opportunities. It’s good for the whole family at large.