Is it still appropriate to spank an eleven year old?

"I am eleven years old and I still get spanked. I have to pull my pants and underwear down and my dad always spanks me. This is my parents’ primary method of discipline. One time I showed my mom from the parenting book she was reading where it stated that you should spank a child until he is six years old, if you choose to do so. "It’s not against the law," was her defiant answer. Isn’t that just plain ignorant? I mean why read the book if you’re not going to take its advice? And studies show that kids who are spanked as a punishment are more

aggressive than children of non-spanking parents. And I do admit, when I get mad, I hit. My brother is spanked too and hits me, my parents, and at school when he gets irritated, which results in more spanking. What do you think?"

I have grandchildren older than you and you may consider me "old fashioned". But I give good advice.

The last time I was spanked by my father was when I was 6 years old. After that, he used his cold steel blue eyes to put the fear into me. Don’t get me wrong… he was a good father and practiced principles.

Some parents may refer to the Good Book where it states "spare the rod and spoil the child" which does have its merits, BUT, at 11-years-old, spanking in the way you describe is not a healthy answer to the discipline problems between you and your parents. It will only breed resentment.

If your parents are still spanking you, it could be considered physical abuse. Children often grow to do as their parents did when they, themselves, become parents because it’s all they know regarding punishment. Thus, the cycle repeats itself.

Your parents were probably treated the same way and know no different. Ignorance is not always bliss. Einstein said doing the same thing over and over expecting different results is insanity. I suspect your parents justify their behavior by saying they "turned out all right" so they follow the patterns of their own parents without thought.

You need a structured discipline system in your home. Why not try bargaining with your parents? In exchange for a spanking, offer to do a chore, write a paper, do the dishes for a week, etc. It would be much more effective with a win-win outcome. [The Child Behavior Repair Kit for Parents]